I have almost always maintained that fatherhood is nothing short of a blessing since my son was born, but I do have to revise my outlook slightly. While becoming a dad has been the single-most uplifting and meaningful event in my life to date, there is one unforeseen downside to the whole gig - caring so much about something that it can literally make you sick thinking about it.
The specific thing that set me off was an episode of Cold Case that aired recently, and it dealt with women that had been abducted by this typical loner/nobody/invisible-to-society psycho. One of the women had recently had a daughter before being abducted (and died), and at the end of the show, they show her husband and daughter (about 2-3 years old I'd guess) watching the videos of her and the newborn baby.
I normally don't 'tear up' about anything - it's one of my (misguided) points of pride over my self-control, but I found myself about to bawl when watching this scene. Just seeing the little girl watching the video and realizing that the lady on it was 'her mommy,' and that this was the only connection she'd have to one of her parents... it hit me hard.
It sent all sorts of thoughts through my head, like what if something happens to my son, how could i handle that? Or god forbid if something happened to my wife or myself, and all he has to remember us by are videos from times he can't even recall? Thoughts like this are the kind that make my stomach drop about 10,000 feet as soon as they enter my brain. While I'm thankful that I have that much love for my son and my family, it does scare the bah-jeezus out of me, so I'm having to consciously not think about that stuff and make my day one big stomach-ache. I hate that show.